Working with Family in Business: Smart Move or Costly Mistake? | Monday Morning Musing #16

At Merryoaks Property Finance, we’re all about relationships. We work closely with our clients to help them fund their property ambitions with clarity, confidence, and the kind of support you usually only get from someone who really cares about you.

So, naturally, when I started Merryoaks, I thought why not bring in the people who already know me best? My spouse, some close friends, even family. The gesture was genuine. Build something meaningful, share the wins, do it all together.

Over 3 years have passed since we launched, and we have the privilege of working with some great people on their development businesses and growing their portfolios. The first 6 months were tough, though. You are never sure if the business will survive, and you need all the support you can find.

At one point, it was agreed that my wife would join the business to support so we could grow together. Let’s just say, it was the longest three weeks of my life. (And yes, I can laugh about it now. Kind of.) Call it the illusion of #couplegoals.

The truth? Working with family and friends sounds great in theory. But in reality, if you’re building something special, something that needs precision, trust, and high performance, you need to be a bit more strategic. I had to make a hard call (or rather, a mutual one): we couldn’t work together. It wasn’t personal. It was just… business.

I know many people have tried to work with spouses in particular and the reason I write this is because in the past week, the conversation came up 3 times. On the flip side, if you scroll through Instagram you will find people who make the ‘working with friends/family’ dynamic work. My belief is that in reality, they are the exception to the rule so do not feel bad if you could not. Find other #couplegoals to rave about.

At Merryoaks, we now live by one of my favourite principles from “Traction” by Gino Wickman: Put the right people in the right seats.

At Merryoaks, we’re extremely intentional about who joins the team. We hire for attitude, aptitude, and aspiration. We bring in people who are relationship driven, genuinely love what they do, bring a “can do” mindset, and are obsessed with finding solutions, not problems. It’s how we consistently deliver the kind of service our clients thank us for.

Because behind every property deal, development, or refinance, there’s a bigger goal: to make smart, confident moves and to work with people you trust to guide you through it.

So, here’s my advice for anyone building a team. Keep your relationships strong outside the office and fill your business with the right skillset, mindset and ambition for it inside. If you lack one of those three, unfortunately you are likely to come unstuck at some point.

Finally, given it’s Easter, I hope you’re enjoying the break with friends, family filled with lots of love and laughter. And for those of you that are into ‘hustle culture’, possibly with no partners, kids (or friends possibly 🙃), hope you’re getting ahead of the curve whilst making sure you’re taking the time to enjoy the journey and not just the destination.

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